Migraines...

Today, I am going on a rant. I have been completely useless for two days now (I had a few pre-written posts scheduled to publish these last few days, or you would have noticed my complete absence), all because of ... Migraines!!

I have suffered from migraines since I was 12 years old. I have these wonderful times, where I go months without a bad headache; and then I have times like these last two months, where I get BAD migraines several times a month.

I've tried figuring out what triggers them, but there doesn't seem to be any one thing. It feels like there is really nothing I can do, but pop pills or stick myself with a needle.

Imitrix and I have had a love-hate relationship for years. It always knocks out the migraine, but the side-effects are severe (imagine a half-hour of migraine pain overlapping with horrid joint pain)! But nothing else seems to work.

My new doctor recently suggested I try Relpax instead. It is the same type of drug as Imitrix, but has had fewer side-effect complaints. But after this last round of migraines, I don't know if Relpax can cut it. Sure, I appreciate the lack of horrid side-effects, but it didn't work as advertised. No more migraine, but I have had this residual headache for over 48 hours.

I am very frustrated and feel at a complete loss. There are so many bad emotions that get wrapped up in the pain ... the guilt of abandoning my family, the horrible feelings of failure and depression, the idea that I will never catch up from everything that isn't getting done while I lay here in bed.

So, what do I do now? Do I ask for a stronger dosage? Do I go back to the drawing table? Do I go back to Imitrix? Is it time to start the testing again? Let doctors poke and prod again?

Thanks for enduring my ranting. I'll be back to my normal self ... soon?!? And will catch up on all your wonderful blog posts.

In the mean time, happy blogging and I'll see you soon!